Nightmares of a wasted existence.

This week has been somewhat interesting and not necessarily in a bad way which seems to be unique if you look at the last couple weeks and see how I've been doing. We only had two days of class this week and though it was nice to get a little bit of a break I still wish that I could have drawn Friday because I'm starting to feel like I'm improving. I apologize for not having pictures up throughout the last couple weeks but I just picked up a new computer yesterday and now I can actually upload images which is simply spectacular. So this whole week we have been drawing, we had a couple muscle assignments which the first one seemed to go really well but I haven't gotten to the second one quite yet... Monday we did quicker long poses which turned out really bad for me but I'm glad that I ended the week on a better note with the hour long pose. I have a great difficulty finding a good way to execute what I'm seeing in front of me and as we all know that can become problematic. For the muscle assignments this week I feel as if they have gone relatively quickly and that I like but today I'm just sitting outside and soaking up the warm air because I'm sick as a dog and so finding motivation to go down to the art building and build muscles onto my manikin is well... pretty much impossible. It's strange watching all of the hustle and bustle as compared to the winter months of people deciding to use their homes as a barricade between them and the outside world. So, I used this picture because I feel as if it best represented where I'm at in the class. Believe it or not, I am improving. The angle that I was at compared to the model was difficult in this situation and trying to find the angle of her head was really hard too but I think that in the end it worked out just fine and now I hope to improve in other areas. As for the title of my blog, it references a dream that I had one night earlier this week about a girl that I'm nannying this summer and last summer as well. The dream consisted of her yelling and carrying on to me about how she wasn't going to do what I wanted her to and unfortunately that's exactly how she is. But, I feel like it references more than just the summer. It brought into account everything that we do in order to earn money and in order to get by in school and in everyday life. I always tell my Mom that I'd rather live poor and do what I love than be rich and work at a desk for ten hours a day... but now I'm trying to see if that's the truth at all because I'm taking a job again this summer that I'm going to be absolutely miserable doing but if I don't take it I can't come back to school next year. Makes me wonder really if it's foreshadowing.

Whenever you need me.

Life is infinitely strange and I think that we all might agree on that but unfortunately there is no predicting what is going to happen next and it is a beautiful but often frightening thing. Lately I have been confronted with people who are in the same boat as me, first I picked up one of best friends and the party seems to keep growing until now it's relatively the size of a cruise ship. Now, these things that we are dealing with are anything but fun and they are put in our lives in order to teach us lessons, in order to help us grow, within ourselves and in our relationships with others. It's often hard to take a step back from difficult circumstances and praise God for putting them there but sometimes the only thing that you can do is step back. In the midst of the world's despair there is still peace, there is still hope with every sunrise and very few people stop in the middle of their lives hustle and bustle in order to realize this truth. Anyways, so that was a random lead in that doesn't really lead you in to my life drawing overview. This week in life drawing we worked on developing the body as a whole and getting everything into our 30 second gesture drawings, and man o man was that tough stuff. Okay, so I know that we have been doing it for awhile now and I've been really working at it but I just cant seem to get it. (ps. I will get pictures of my drawings up as soon as I can get my darn computer fixed) Okay... in the middle of the week we did long poses where Annie posed with her arms up so that we could practice the curves of the armpit and see how the shoulder muscles came together. I thought that this practice was really fun and I actually thought that I was doing quite well until I took a look at everyone else's drawings. I'm beginning to feel kind of like a broken record for saying that and recognizing the fact that I really need to start improving. Though I did make a change this week and went from lead charcoal to graphite and from standing to sitting down, I found that drawing is a lot more painful for your shoulders when you're sitting down. I did like the change to pencils though because I think that it helped quite a bit with the line weight and the sketching of the figure. At the end of the week class got canceled which was a blessing in disguise because I was able to finish applying my muscles and got to go home early to my dog who was thrilled. Also, I found that these muscles were difficult because I wasn't sure exactly how they connected under the shoulder and the books are often hard to follow. I hope that you all had absolutely wonderful weeks and weekends and I will see you bright and early.